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The Path to Self Discovery May Not Be What You Think

The Path to Self Discovery May Not Be What You Think

The journey of self discovery is a complicated one.

There’s ups and downs, highs and lows, and turns out that’s just how it’s meant to be.

If your intention in this life is to express your highest self, to live out the best version of yourself, but you often catch yourself falling short…or doing things that are more like the crummy version of yourself…well this truth may just eradicate all the guilt that rises at those moments.

It’s definitely shifted something for me…

Fact is, we all experience moments when we are not the person we wish to be.

Maybe you stay silent instead of standing up for someone or what you believe in.

Maybe you cave into office gossip and say something nasty about someone you don’t even know.

Maybe you yell at your kid at a moment of impatience.

Or, I dunno maybe you just get hangry and unleash your wrath on your partner or family…

Whatever it is, know this, we are constantly in a process of learning and becoming who we are in this lifetime, and there are going to be times when we slip up…

But, what you may have never really contemplated, is that these slip ups are actually necessary.

For to uncover Who You Are, as you continue to do over a lifetime, you need to encounter Who You Are Not.

Stay with me here, cause I’m ’bout to get even more spiritual on yah with this whole self discovery thing 😉

One of the biggest ah hah moments for me lately is that everything in this world that exists – including love, joy, happiness, peace, kindness – is known to us, relative to its difference.

In other words, our experience and “knowing” of, say, Love, is understood in relation to our experience of “not love”. I guess at it’s extreme you might call this hate, but you might also call it indifference or lust or even fondness.
It’s through that which is not, that we can know that which is.
This is the dichotomy that underpins all life and experience and knowing.
We cannot know light, without having seen darkness, and we only know warmth because we’ve experienced being neutral or cold.
By the same token, we cannot know ourselves without ever knowing who we are not.
Knowing comes from experience and being.

So it’s through being who we are not that we also come to know who we are.

That is to say, all our mistakes, fumbles, wrongdoings and every time we act out of alignment with what we deem to be our highest self, these moments are necessary to for us to learn who we aspire to be and who we are moving toward becoming.

For we cannot really know ourselves fully, what we stand for, and who we wish to be in the world without experiencing the opposite.

Without experiencing ourselves at our missteps.

In a way, this is comforting because each time we fumble, instead of beating ourselves up about it, it can serve as another reminder of who we want to be in the world.

And, of course with this greater awareness and presence we bring each time we stray, the gap between who we are and who we wish to be will naturally reduce, because we get into the habit of catching ourselves before we do or say the thing that is not us.

Of course, I can’t really exit this conversation without pointing out that ultimately, we are all love, and love is all there is (and I don’t say statements like this lightly… even if it’s still a bit “cringy” to make these big proclamations, I’m pretty comfortable with this particular idea 😎).

So now when I act out of fear, or anger, or rebellion, or revenge, (instead of love) and feel the subsequent and inevitable inner (and outer) disturbance of that action, I try to remember that this is a reminder again of who I am a not.

And that awareness of my misstep is another step forward in knowing my highest myself.

Paradoxically, it is by acting out of character that we discover deeper Who We Are.

Do you agree? Disagree?

Do you think life’s just a journey of self discovery?

I’d love to know your thoughts.